...of Fruit Trees, Puddleglum and a Donkey

When my beloved and I were about to get married we were given a most precious gift by another young couple. The gift has promoted communication, and spending time together. It has deepened our understanding of God, and of the world around us.  When our children came along, we used that same gift to build relationship with them too. It wasn't quite as effective with them, but that was more about my impatience, not the gift nor the children.

The gift was the full set of Narnia books by +C.S. Lewis .  C.S. Lewis was a gifted thinker and author in the mid-Twentieth Century, who converted to Christianity as a young man. The Narnia books are a series of seven stories written for children. Set in the fantasy land of Narnia, the stories recounted moments when people from our world entered that world, at the behest of Aslan - a great and mysterious lion.

We read them together, one chapter at a time, almost every night for a year. We loved the characters, the stories, and the magical way 'Narnia' cut to the very heart of key truths about Jesus Christ. We learned so much about each other, and about God. And when our children came along, we sought to share that experience with them as well. It may seem strange to a generation raised on amazing graphics and internet-based gaming, but the shared experience of imagination was a powerful bonding time. There was the fighting mouse; the giants of the North; a number of children from earth; an evil witch; and of course, Aslan. And mixed in were knights, kings, horses, and talking animals of all kinds.

Those nights huddled in or on a bed, with the rain falling outside, with my children (or wife!) asking for 'just one more chapter' remain some of my most precious memories. When people ask me how to build a relationship with their spouse, or their children, I always start by offering them 'Narnia'. "Just read them", I say. "And don't worry if older children tell you it is too baby-ish for them:  make reading a chapter a required event straight after dinner (which, by the way, should also be a complusory family gathering time). Let the Emperor work His deep magic in your lives. You'll be surprised at the life-long benefits you will gain from such a simple family ritual."

I know I have been. Even today, I can't walk past the well-worn gift box in which 'Narnia' sits, without recalling nights as a family straining to see, hear and touch that Lion, that Witch, that Wardrobe.

... Of omens

The marriage equality bill passed here in New Zealand tonight. For some this is a time of deep spiritual rejoicing. For some it is a time of deep spiritual mourning.

This blog is not about that bill.

Rather, I'm distressed to hear that some people wrote to various Members of Parliament stating that the recent drought we had been suffering in many parts of New Zealand was a sign from God that He was displeased we were even considering such legislation. It was a warning - a shot across the bow, if you will. Our country would burn in the stinking heat of lasting drought, they said.

Except that tonight, as the bill passed, it was raining in many places, and the drought was broken. No floods, no destruction. In fact, if anything, the most needed weather in New Zealand for some time.

What does this mean? Has God changed His mind? If drought was a judgement, then what is the rain? Is He in fact blessing us for the decision instead? Or can the rain now be read as something else? And if so, what?

Here lies the issue with importing omens into these sorts of debates: too often they end up making those who claim to be Christians look incredibly foolish. Can God use the weather to being about His purposes? I believe yes. Does He? Again, I would say yes.

But does God today use weather to judge nations for perceived moral failings? I suspect not. And, for those rushing to quote Revelation to me: even if I agreed with the Hal Lindsey version of Revelation, that is an apocalyptic future that is not here yet (unless we have all missed 'The Rapture').

No, all that has happened by some using Omens to predict God's feelings about the marriage equality bill is that we Christians have all been tarred with the brush marked "silly".

And I for one find that incredibly sad. For it means that anything I would like to say as a Christian to the wider public - on marriage, on abortion, on the state of the planet, on injustice and inequality - has been silenced by religious zealots masquerading as followers of Jesus. I can only hope that, like the other partial means of knowledge listed in 1 Corinthians 13, their words too will pass away. And we can start again to find a voice for the real words of Jesus:

"God so loved the world"
"I have come that you might have abundant life"
"I am the good shepherd, who lays down his life for his flock"

Those words seem far better than pointing to weather omens. And perhaps they would have been more useful in this debate as well.

Oh wait. The rain has stopped! What could it mean...

...of rainy days

The Carpenters were a brother/ sister band in the 1970's, who had a string of hits. The brother, Richard, did most of the musical composition and arranging, while the sister, Karen, sang and - at least initially - played the drums. They wrote/ covered and sang a succession of top ten songs from 1969 to Karen's death in 1983.

One of their cover songs is "Rainy Days And Mondays", in which the singer describes how she needs a special someone on those 'feeling blue" days that we all experience. Nothing dramatic: just the need for that one good friend. It's a gentle reminder that we are not made to live alone. Connecting with other people is as essential as breathing. Not just for the days of high excitement, or deep despair; but for every day, including the 'life is quietly happening' days.

I'm reminded of that today, as the rain is gently falling outside. (Yes, we are in Perth and it is raining! The locals are stunned). We all need moments of solitude, to reflect on who we are, and how God has wired us. But, as it tells us in Genesis 1 and 2, we were created to be in community. Relationship is so intrinsic that even God chooses to reveal Himself to us in relationship. He is God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

For most of history this was so obvious as not to require saying. But our uniquely 21st Century Western mind-set has so isolated us from each other that the obvious does need stating. We need each other. On good days, on challenging days. And on rainy days and Mondays.

No, it is not good for a person to be alone. And so, as I sit here, with the rain gently falling, I am thankful for my beloved, Rhonda, whom God brought into my life. And for my family. And for the community in Christchurch that God has placed us among.

...of Lost Friends

I lost a dear friend this week. We have been close for over 30 years. It has been very had to focus on other things.

My friend - we'll call him John - and I met at University. A brilliant man, but with deep emotional scarring. Petrified that God would punish him for not loving properly. Certain that no-one could love God, and that therefore no-one could assume they had escaped the judgment of God. A man more comfortable with God's wrath than God's love. A man who for those 30 years barely inched his way toward a peace with God. During those 30 years he used his sharp mind and short temper to slash many people's egos and feelings - yet whose own emotional skin was so thin that the smallest of criticism sent him into weeks of distress and deep hurt. Many people came into his life, and many people went.

John - a gifted musician and linguist. A first class mind. Yet a man more comfortable using his hands than his other talents to make a living, as he wrestled with God. John - who believed that anyone making any act of will to serve God as by definition living a gospel of works, even though in his own life he struggled day after day after day to find a way to let God into his life (though he never saw it that way: in his mind, he grew with God only when he was the passive vessel).

And for those 30 years I had journeyed with him, always listening, rarely commenting (not that he would have noticed in the early years: at that time John talked at you, never with you). But John had made progress, and so in recent times I had felt I could critique and beg to differ, all the while remaining friends.

But I was wrong. Sadly, John is gone.

Oh, he is not dead. John is still very much alive. But this last week, after 30 years, I finally felt the lash of his tongue and the venom of his anger, when I responded to a comment he made questioning my commitment to one of my core values. For John, being right trumps relationship. For John, disagreement is a knife wound to a friendship. For John, there can ever only be one viewpoint: his viewpoint. All else is flawed, and must be rejected. So John said goodbye, finally and forever.

So today I pay my last respects to John. He has chosen 'truth' over 'love', having never realized that God is Love, and that we are called ever only to speak the truth in love. Of course truth matters; but so does relationship. How we hold these in balance is our journey with God, and with each other.

Good-bye John. I shall miss you.

Of Leadership

Leadership requires a servant-heart, vision, commitment, and sacrifice.

Leadership builds bridges, not walls - even where the wall could be justified.

Leadership looks to educate, not dominate.

Leadership looks to connect: people with the leader, and people with each other.

Leadership is not about a person's position, but her disposition.

Leadership looks to take people on a journey toward a common cause.

Leadership empowers and inspires.

Leadership focuses on solutions, not problems.

Leadership celebrates character more than giftedness.

Nothing radical or new: +Seth Godin has been putting these and similar lists out for some time. Yet how rarely do we see these qualities in those who call themselves leaders. Perhaps that's why "managers" are a dime a dozen, but "leaders" are one in a thousand.

A final thought: since leadership is so rare, why do so many organisations dismiss potential leaders because they are too young, or too old, or women, or too ethnically different?