...Of Loyalty and other Quaint Notions

There is a young golfer - Korean-born, New Zealand-based - who has stunned the world with her talent. Lydia Ko is still only 16, but already she has won a number of tournaments as an amateur, and recently received special dispensation to turn professional: two years younger than the normal age. She stands on the brink of an amazing career, no doubt filled with many accolades and a secure financial future. Lydia's skill is undoubted, as is her single-minded focus. One would normally wish her all the success due her skill and effort.

Yet there is a sour taste in my mouth. For as she stands on the brink of sporting greatness, Lydia has chosen to part with the coach who has worked with her since she was five years old; a coach who has sacrificed countless hours of his time; pouring all his own skill and knowledge to raise this young woman to this place where now she stands. He now also stands ready to reap the reward for his labours: at last she can really repay him for all he has done for her.

And what is his reward? Within weeks of turning professional, Lydia has now moved to the United States (perfectly understandable), signed a major management contract (again, perfectly understandable); and sacked him as her coach.  Apparently she feels the distance will mean he can be of no value for her. And it would now seem the relationship was one-sided: she only sought to take, never to give.

There are three components to greatness: gifting; focus; character. Lydia has the first two in spades. But for me on the first hurdle she has failed the third: her choice has shown she has much to learn before greatness can be trusted in her hands.

As for Guy Wilson, her coach; he has been loyal, gracious, and humble in his response to her decision.

Greatness: of the two, it is clear for me where it resides. In Guy Wilson, a man of honour and loyalty.

... Of passing Giants

Mandela has died.

Silence for a giant.

Not perfect. Flawed, as are we all. But he will cast his shadow over us for decades to come. Steadfast, certain of the justice of his cause. Able to reach beyond his own pain to forgive, and so to commence healing in a shattered nation.

What can one man do? He can shape a nation.

What can one woman do? She can raise our eyes from what is to what can be.

Mandela was a giant. Honour his legacy by becoming a giant too.

...of Red and Black

Red and Black.

If you live in New Zealand, you will know that these are the colours of the Canterbury Rugby team: easily one of the finest rugby teams ever. Their success has always been built on teamwork, hard work, loyalty, and sacrifice. I love being a Canterbury supporter!

Red and Black are also the two colours of money. 'Being in the black' means you have it; 'Being in the red' means you dont.

The bitter truth for too many people today is that they live in the red all the time. Easy credit, powerful marketing, unending peer pressure, the demand for instant gratification: these all add up to the situation where for many the cost of interest payments alone soak up most of their income.

Fact: three young people I know each have debts in excess of $30,000 with little or no assets to underpin that debt. And that excludes their student debts for University educations. The annual interest for their debts is over $7000 each. It's crushing each of them: soaking the joy out of every day, and limiting their future choices.

The best favour we can do society is to find a tool to help us get out of debt. And when we are out of debt, to help others do the same.

Here's one very useful tool: I'm Getting Out of Debt   Thanks Dan and Ness for your hard work and your example.

Sure, there's a cost: but its no more than one good meal out. And what we get for nothing we often value as the same.

There are other tools. No matter. Pick one. Then stick with it. Get debt free. Then help another.

Less red, more black.

...of fire

Despite the loud clamoring of the most hardened atheists, people have a sense that they were made for a purpose. I have yet to meet a person moving joyfully from place to place, reveling in life because it is meaningless.

It goes deeper. We aren't just on a quest to find the general purpose of humanity - though that has its place of course. Instead, we are looking for our unique place in the grand scheme of thing.
And when we find that God-given purpose, our souls are set on fire. We find the abundant life that Jesus spoke about.

Purpose: we hunger for one. When we have one we live. Without one we merely exist.

...of Persistance

There's an old proverb that says a thousand mile journey begins with the first step.  How true! We all need to make a decision at some point to move from thinking about a project, or a relationship, or a job; to actually starting. Nothing happens until we start.

But for most of us, the paths of our past are littered with projects we have started, but failed to finish. That's because there comes a point where the energy from the enthusiasm of something new wanes, and we have to fall back on plain old commitment.

Malcolm Gladwell(  +Malcolm Gladwell Official Website  ) coined the idea of '10,000 hours to mastery'. It's a simple notion - as the best ideas always are - that giftedness can never replace persistent effort.

Of course, we need to learn what we are to practice, so our efforts make a genuine improvement. We need guidance, and mentoring. But simply put, there is no substitute for persistent effort. Want to learn the piano? Practice often. Want to master a new language? Practice often. Want to run a Marathon? Practice often.

Simple. Unfashionable. Essential.

... Of whole-hearted people

"And Levi left everything and followed him". Luke 5:28

Levi was a follower of Jesus. He was a tax collector when he first met Jesus. The more he saw of Jesus, the more he wanted to be someone different. And when Jesus finally invited Levi to join his band of brothers, Levi jumped at the chance. But there was a cost: one that Levi had to pay. He had to give up everything he had been, done and known up to that point.

Not some things: not most things; everything. 

We in the West live in a fantasy world where everything comes to us. Levi understood that the real world is different. To attain what really matters costs us all we have.

No problem if you don't want to pay the cost: just don't demand the prize.

Of Teams Structured To Fail

I recently attended a major event intended to mobilise a key part of the Christian movement in New Zealand to reach our diverse society. The leadership team were introduced: every one a middle-age, Pakeha male. 

In a multicultural, co-ed society with energetic and vision-filled youth, this is a recipe, not for success but for failure. 

A group becomes what it's leaders embody. Want to reach Maori, or Women, or Youth? Then your leadership must include and embrace them. Not as tokenism: they need to earn their place. But be pro-active and seek out quality people who represent those you want to reach.

... Of action

A short post, to return with. 

Never mistake activity for achievement. All the busy-ness in the world means nothing if you make no difference: be it growing a relationship, producing a new/ better service or good, or even advancing a hobby. 

More action is no substitute for a purposeful plan. 

...of Mark Twain

Mark Twain once famously stated: "The report of my death was an exaggeration".

At the time, a cousin was gravely ill, and a newspaper confused one man with the other. Yet it was understandable: the two men's names were similar, and Mark Twain had not written anything for some time.

Neither, I see, have I.

Lest anyone be concerned, let me restart my posting with an an assurance: I am still alive. Normal service shall now resume.

Whatever that means :-)

... Of Roadrunner

When I was growing up there was a cartoon called "Roadrunner". Roadrunner was always being chased by Wile E Coyote, who never caught him  (There's a blog in that, I'm sure: about chasing what we cannot catch. Another time, perhaps).

The song for "Roadrunner" had this one line: "Running down the road is his idea of having fun..."

I thought about that this week, after I had gone for a 20 minute 'run' (I'm being generous to myself: but stagger sounds so... old). As I stood at the door, panting and puffing, I savoured each breath. Somehow, my lungs could almost taste the air as I drew it in, and I could feel every breath as I took it.

It was simple. It was exhilarating. It was magic. It had been a while since I last felt so 'alive'.

Simple, innocent pleasures. God created so many of them that we can do and still be in His will. Yet each day, the world crowds onto us more and more overwhelming sensations: sensations that drown out the way we are meant to feel and connect with creation.

Why not find one of those innocent pleasures, and give yourself over to it for a time today. As for me, I'm looking forward to running again tomorrow.

To quote Roadrunner: "Beep, beep".

of King Henry's Table

Recently my beloved and I watched a series of cooking shows by Heston Blumenthal, in which he recreated the recipes of different times in history. One episode is set in the England of Henry VIII: the king famous for having six wives and taking England out of the Roman Catholic Church. Drawing on the cook-books of the period, Heston’s culinary skills ran wild, recreating outlandish dishes combining art and opulence to a height not seen before in ‘Merry Olde Englande’. All sorts of meats, sweet dishes, pastries and ales formed the backbone to a daily feast ‘fit for a king’. 

What was fascinating was how bad the diet of the wealthy was, compared to the poor. The poor ate vegetables, and simple stews. They had no sugar. The wealthy scorned vegetables and gorged on sweet food. The result: although it was definitely no easy life, the diet of the average peasant was actually far healthier than that of the aristocracy: there’s an irony in there somewhere!

This made me think of the old saying “You are what you eat!” and that had me thinking about our spiritual diet. Our modern Western has never had so much variety of things to ‘chew on’, spiritually speaking. Television, cell-phones, the internet: all provide a never-ending ‘diet’ of food for the soul. 

The challenge is to work out what is best for us, and to ‘chew’ on that. The Tudor aristocracy despised the humble vegetable, to their detriment; how many of us overlook the basic in pursuit of the exotic.

We are what we eat. Why not set aside games, reality shows, self-help sites, pornography; let’s instead enjoy worship music, nourishing on-line sermons, and interviews with real heroes (such as +nick vujicic : look him up – now that’s a story worth Googling). ‘Desperate Housewives’ getting you down? Sample ‘Bethel tv’ instead. Missed your favourite ‘Survivor Outback’ show? In its place, podcast +Andy Stanley, or +Joyce Meyer Ministries. Let’s really care for ourselves.

But wait: there’s more! What about the infomercials? The ‘Five+ a day’ rule: why not make it both five vegetables/ fruit and five chapters of scripture? Within 30 days I guarantee you’ll be healthier than you have ever been – or your money back...

... Of Ringing Bells

..And the Tyranny of the Urgent.

Last night, for the second time this week and the fifth time this month I woke up to the sound of the church bells ringing. No, not the ‘call to worship’ bells: the ‘someone may be breaking into the building’ bells. Off I went, to check the site for mice or flapping curtains (the usual culprits). Mission accomplished I returned to bed; to sleep, perchance to dream...

This morning I thought about how in life we are so often called to action by the screaming bells of urgency. One of the best decision making tools I have been given is the “four quadrants of priority”.

1                     Important      and Urgent	3       Urgent, but           not important
2                     Important, but      not Urgent	4       Not important             and not urgent

Most of us implement boxes 1 and 4 quite well: we might get them wrong occasionally, but in the main we know when something really important has to be done right now, and when the task in front of us is totally trivial.

The challenge, and the key to great decision-making is learning to prioritise ‘important’ over ‘urgent’. On paper it can seem easy. But in life it often is not. Which do I respond to first? The requirement to make and fold 100 copies of the newsletter that is wanted in one hour, or the phone message from the young couple looking for marriage advise? Can’t the phone call wait? Pleasing 100 people easily makes so much sense – doesn’t it? Or is it just the ringing bell of urgency calling?

Many of us ignore ‘quadrant 2’ (the important) until it moves to ‘quadrant 1’ (now urgent and important). We tick of lists of ‘quadrant 3s (the urgents), but never feel truly satisfied. We know we can be doing better. And we can: it just takes practice.

Start with this one: when you are meeting with someone and your cell phone beeps with a text, don’t rush to pick it up. Finish the conversation you are having. It you both made time to have the meeting (even if it's 'just' for coffee), it is important. The chances are high that the text is merely urgent. 

For some of us even thinking about ignoring a text makes us break out in a cold sweat. That there is a sign: you are at the mercy of the ringing bell of the urgent. 

Time to make a change. Time to start, by... 

Oh wait: someone’s just tweeted me about Justin Bieber. Got to go. I'm sure you can work it out for yourself...

...of Salt

I have a 'thing' for salt on my food. I might sometimes have too much - though so far my heart and blood pressure seem fine.

However every now and then, I also have a negative reaction salt. Just yesterday, after biting into a sandwich with the barest amount of salt, I suddenly felt quite unwell. My taste buds reacted violently, I felt nauseous, and I had to close my eyes to help overcoming a strong fainting feeling.  It doesn't happen often: the last time was well over a year ago. But when it does, it is immediate, obvious, and 'memorable' - in the most unpleasant way. I'm not the only person to have this reaction. And I've read (because I can be a hypochondriac) that too much salt can in fact be deadly. So I do have to be careful.

Salt. We need it to survive, and yet this negative - even deadly - reaction does occur.

After my last turn, I got to thinking about Jesus describing the people of God as being salt and light. We often think of the salt analogy in the positive seasoning sense: A Godly community makes a society think and take notice of the truly important things. But perhaps its also true in the 'negative reaction' sense. Our society doesn't actually enjoy the Christian flavour. John, writing about Jesus, reminds us that the people of the world love darkness rather than light, because their deeds are evil.

Too much light gets rejected by the world, because it lays bare their real nature. Too much salt gets rejected as well, and for the same reason: the world prefers its own way, even though it needs the Gospel. The temptation for God's people is to cut back on the salt; to ease off the light.

But Jesus told those who listened that we are called to be salt and light. All the time. Not just when the people of the world react well, but also when they get a bad reaction. Sure, we need to find the most positive way to enter the world's "eyes and stomach". And we shouldn't set out to cause the negative reaction. But when it comes - and come it will - we are called to stay true. To be salt. To be light.

For the world needs both, whatever the reaction.

of being a cat whisperer

We have been graced with the presence of two cats, who have moved to Christchurch along with their human slaves (we all know who are the real owners in the human/ feline relationship).

Neither enjoyed the experience at first. In fact, one - Cairo - went so far as to hide under the house and meow pathetically at night - just to ensure we all understood how awful it was for her to be kidnapped away from her home. For three days, neither her human slaves nor my beloved and I could coax her inside. Things were getting desperate, or at least so it seemed to the women in the house. The cat was cold, hungry, sad: this was not how it was meant to pan out.

I am proud to say I came to the rescue. One the third night, I got up at 4:30am, opened the door and called the cat gently into the house; shivering myself, as it was wet and cold. And lo! Cairo the cat came in: snarling a little, but deigning me with her presence (the food bowl next to me may have helped: however as that fact may affect my hero status, I might have refrained from mentioning it to the others in the house). A happy ending; a saved cat, and a happy home!

The strange thing is that in Christchurch at present there must be hundreds, if not thousands, of hungry, cold and sad cats. Yet we have not gone to these same lengths to help them. Clearly, we only make such an effort for those cats we have gotten to know, and deem to be in some relationship with us. I'm not sure I would have hero status if I had proudly welcomed an unknown bedraggled feline into our home.

What is true for pets is true for people. It is hard for us to care for those we have not met and invested our emotions into. Something has to happen to move others from being 'people' (part of the crowd) to being 'persons' (part of our crowd). And here is the great weakness of many churches today: we invest all our time into those we already know, who so often are already in the house of God. These are persons to us: part of our crowd. But the people around us: the stressed KMart shop assistant, the bored child across the street, the lonely elderly neighbour; since we dont know them, we make little or no effort to invite them into the house of God. And so, like the stray cats in our city, they remain outside: cold, wet, unhappy, unfed.

This is not how Jesus called us to be. We are not meant to be inside the house, keeping warm and dry while others suffer. Instead, we are called to be people-whisperers; looking for the lost and the lonely. It's what Jesus commanded. Its what Jesus did. That means changing how we see the lost: changing them in our perceptions from people to persons. It starts by knowing their names; by discovering that the shop assistant is Julie, the child is Anji, the neighbour is Dorothy.

And it goes on to welcoming them into the house, where the air is warm, there is good food, and they know they have a place.

Time to shiver, just a little, to find the stray persons in our neighbourhood.

...Of Scary Questions

I've commented before about +Seth Godin , the American entrepeneurial guru who is challenging so many of the accepted norms of today: in marketing, in education, in work. I believe his ideas have great relevance in those areas, but also in the world of the 21st century church. If you are a person wrestling with the place of church today, and how we might do it differently to take our eyes of people and put them back on Jesus - the author and finisher of our faith, as the writer of the letter to the Hebrews calls Him.

Here is a link to some Seth's recent work on schools. Seth asks the brave question, 'What is the modern school for?' I'd really urge you to take 17 minutes and watch the TEDx Talk. If that gets you thinking, then go on to read some of the material on the site below the #youtube link. Dont be afraid to ask the question, "how is the way my school works going to help my children make a difference in their world, and not merely find a place in it?"

But here's the thing - and this is the question I'm wrestling with as a Pastor. Why not then ask the same questions about how we do church? Why not ask "what is the modern church for?" In the 21st century, are we serving people well by having a once-a-week performance led by a 'professor' of the faith - who rarely does it as well as a Tom Wright (you can follow his twitter account by clicking here) or a +Tim Keller - or might we be better with another model? A model that encourages us to think, not simply agree/ comply? (See this youtube clip for a great parody of church life under the current model).

For example, how about taking up one of Seth's ideas in the TEDx Talk, giving people the link to a high quality sermon or talk on a subject they are interested in, for them to watch during the week, and then inviting them on a Sunday morning to come and worship, and then break into groups with coffee to discuss what they watched, and to ask the questions together of what the talk raised for them? Note: not pre-prepared questions! That's just another way of setting boundaries of compliance.

What would the role of the Pastor be in that situation? Because she could not help every discussion group, wouldn't her importance on a Sunday fade? And be replaced by how she coached the discussion facilitators during the week? Would she cope with that loss of apparent significance? Would the congregation value the coaching role? Heck, would a congregation even come to such an event?

Perhaps I should try this. Because I want people to fulfil the words of the prophet Joel and dream dreams, and see visions. I want to #stopstealingdreams.

Is anyone with me? (And as a side point for my own reflection, is that even relevant?)

...Of Emotional Breathing

One of my congregation (I won't say who, as he doesn't like any limelight) recently a link to a wonderfully reflective thinker: Ron Rolheiser.

Ron has some great things to say about how we approach faith and relationships - especially where our faith and our expectations of others intersect.

You can check out Ron's thoughts here:

http://www.ronrolheiser.com/

An older article of his on the impact of our emotional needs on how we serve others is particularly insightful. It is Ron notes it is good and healthy to look for the touch of others: God created us that way.  But if this becomes the basis for why we serve - to have our  emotional needs met - we will never mature spiritually. Why? Because we always put a condition on the serving: we will keep saying 'I will love you and stay with you, as long as there's something in it for me.'

But as Ron says, real growth and maturity serves because it is good and right; not because we get something from it. That's hard, and it is certainly not the message we hear in Twenty-first Western media outlets: but it is very true.John the elder wrote "We love because God first loved us." That, and only that is the true basis for loving and serving: out of gratitude to the One Who loved us totally and gave Himself freely for our restoration.

...Of Lifelong Friendships

I turned 50 last month.

Before you switch off, wondering if this is another "oh no, I'm 50, where has my life gone?" blog, the email is not about me. At least, not in that way.

Rather, its about a birthday present I received. Probably the most special present I have ever been given.

In 1995 we opened our home to an overseas student, who came to stay for a year. Johanna was from Finland, and she was 17. She spoke 7 languages fluently, and though she came to New Zealand partly to help her English, she spoke it better than most native-borne 'kiwis'. She stretched us as a family in so many wonderful ways. When after a year she boarded her plane home, it was truly like losing a daughter. I think we grieved her 'loss' far more than we ever thought possible.

Yet life moves on.Over the years we kept in some kind of touch, and from a distance we 'watched' Johanna grow from a sparkling and creative teenager - our surrogate daughter/ niece - to an amazing woman. We heard of her career, her loves, her first child, her marriage. All of it meant something to us. Yet somehow, because she lived so far away, and was not really our daughter, it happened in a back part of our minds: someone to be remembered on a quiet Winter's evening.

And then: It came. A gift for my fiftieth birthday. A book; but such a book. Not just any book. A book of memories and dreams. A book that brought 1995, and memories from the intervening years, flooding back. A book of photos and thoughts from the heart of this marvelous young woman - older now than we were when she first came and made herself a part of us.

A book that reminds me that when we connect with a person nothing truly separates us from them. Time, distance, life changes. All become part of the relationship, all shape the relationship, all enrich that relationship, if we will let them.Friendships do last. They make us the people we are today.

My beloved and Johanna's special book!

This is why the Bible is such a special book. It too is a book of memories and dreams, from One whose words shape and enrich us. There may be days - even years - when God can seem very far away. But, just like this wonderful book from Johanna, when I open His book the special times with God come flooding back, and I am young again.

We have these two precious books, from a creative woman and the Creator God. And we shall never be the same again.

... Of Failed Apps, and other missed opportunities

An open letter to a Service Company (with thanks to +Seth Godin for his insightful comments on creative thinking)

"Dear CEO of a major service company I deal with.

Your company sent me an excited email yesterday.Did I want to keep track of my usage of your service, so that I can keep on top of the costs of that service? If so, then I could download your brand new 'App' (for the uninitiated, that is short for 'Application for a mobile internet-connected device, like a smart-phone'. For those who don't understand that sentence, this entire post may effectively be in Swahili)

Always one to want to keep a lid on costs, I signed up for the service and downloaded this free app.

Then I opened the app on my phone. Here is the message I received, right off the bat:

"A ... server request has failed, our App development team will look into the issue. Please try again at a later time."

No, dear CEO of the service company, I wont be trying again at a later time. I have tried four times for three days now. You told me this is an excellent product that would enhance my appreciation of your service. You have done the worst thing imaginable in service terms: told me I will benefit from something you have made just for me - something I didn't know before-hand that I wanted, but now do - only to let me down at the very first hurdle.

Dear company: never create a market niche that you immediately and completely fail to fill. It makes me feel disappointed, and you look very foolish. Instead, test your product, at least a bit. I don't mind if there are some teething issues: I get that new ideas can sometimes take time to perfect. But if the entire thing is a 'fail' from the beginning, that, dear sir, is a fail of epic proportions."

... of Grounded Questions

A dear friend put this clip on Facebook today:
Grounded Questions: Mark Strom



It takes 16 minutes to watch: it is time well spent.


In the clip, the speaker Mark Strom argues for the power of grounded questions.

His conviction: at the heart of every social group is a 'certain' conversation. That conversation opens us up to telling stories, and it is in stories where life-changing moments happen. The way to access those stories is to ask grounded questions.

Mark sets a challenge for us all: if we want to see true shift in people, do we engage their logic, or do we engage their hearts? He argues that we need to engage the heart.

Mark is arguing for the power of the 'person' over the 'principle'. Principles are good; they have their place. But true power to change and be changed comes from the person.

How interesting it is that when God wanted to introduce a life-changing paradigm shift He did it through a person: His Son Jesus Christ.

And Jesus came, and he asked grounded questions and told stories.

And in dying and rising again, he gave us a story.

Are we asking grounded questions, and telling stories?

...of Forests and Trees

I had a day of meetings today. I really enjoyed each of the people I met. They have passion, commitment, ideals, and ask the questions I love to hear asked.

Yet, as I sit here late at night, I somehow feel that today I may have missed the forest for the trees. I feel quite discontented, and I'm not sure why.

What's worse, I'm looking at my diary for the next week, and I have a growing sense that other days will end the same way. I am looking forward to seeing each of the people and groups; so why would I feel this way?

Two answers are possible: one is that my 'gift' of wanting to do the best with every moment and give the best to each person means that I will always feel discontented. After all, perfection by its very nature is not possible in this life, so each moment will always fall short of the ideal. This is a good thing, since it pushes me to rely on God more, and to accept that he will take my best and use it as He wills. And that is a very good thing.

The other answer is that I'm getting too engrossed in the trees, and I need to stop, take a deep breath and wait on God; to hear what he is saying about my busy days, and from there to see the forest afresh. This is also good: for again it pushes me back to God.

So: both paths lead to God. The first 'trick' is figuring out which path I am on, and then enjoying the ride with Him.

The second 'trick' is learning to accept I am a driven type, who does overfill his days (and nights).

The final 'trick' is not to over-think things: like I'm doing now...

Psalm 46 says: “Be still, and know that I am God" Perhaps it's just time to be still.

And eat a rose.

...of Fruit Trees, Puddleglum and a Donkey

When my beloved and I were about to get married we were given a most precious gift by another young couple. The gift has promoted communication, and spending time together. It has deepened our understanding of God, and of the world around us.  When our children came along, we used that same gift to build relationship with them too. It wasn't quite as effective with them, but that was more about my impatience, not the gift nor the children.

The gift was the full set of Narnia books by +C.S. Lewis .  C.S. Lewis was a gifted thinker and author in the mid-Twentieth Century, who converted to Christianity as a young man. The Narnia books are a series of seven stories written for children. Set in the fantasy land of Narnia, the stories recounted moments when people from our world entered that world, at the behest of Aslan - a great and mysterious lion.

We read them together, one chapter at a time, almost every night for a year. We loved the characters, the stories, and the magical way 'Narnia' cut to the very heart of key truths about Jesus Christ. We learned so much about each other, and about God. And when our children came along, we sought to share that experience with them as well. It may seem strange to a generation raised on amazing graphics and internet-based gaming, but the shared experience of imagination was a powerful bonding time. There was the fighting mouse; the giants of the North; a number of children from earth; an evil witch; and of course, Aslan. And mixed in were knights, kings, horses, and talking animals of all kinds.

Those nights huddled in or on a bed, with the rain falling outside, with my children (or wife!) asking for 'just one more chapter' remain some of my most precious memories. When people ask me how to build a relationship with their spouse, or their children, I always start by offering them 'Narnia'. "Just read them", I say. "And don't worry if older children tell you it is too baby-ish for them:  make reading a chapter a required event straight after dinner (which, by the way, should also be a complusory family gathering time). Let the Emperor work His deep magic in your lives. You'll be surprised at the life-long benefits you will gain from such a simple family ritual."

I know I have been. Even today, I can't walk past the well-worn gift box in which 'Narnia' sits, without recalling nights as a family straining to see, hear and touch that Lion, that Witch, that Wardrobe.

... Of omens

The marriage equality bill passed here in New Zealand tonight. For some this is a time of deep spiritual rejoicing. For some it is a time of deep spiritual mourning.

This blog is not about that bill.

Rather, I'm distressed to hear that some people wrote to various Members of Parliament stating that the recent drought we had been suffering in many parts of New Zealand was a sign from God that He was displeased we were even considering such legislation. It was a warning - a shot across the bow, if you will. Our country would burn in the stinking heat of lasting drought, they said.

Except that tonight, as the bill passed, it was raining in many places, and the drought was broken. No floods, no destruction. In fact, if anything, the most needed weather in New Zealand for some time.

What does this mean? Has God changed His mind? If drought was a judgement, then what is the rain? Is He in fact blessing us for the decision instead? Or can the rain now be read as something else? And if so, what?

Here lies the issue with importing omens into these sorts of debates: too often they end up making those who claim to be Christians look incredibly foolish. Can God use the weather to being about His purposes? I believe yes. Does He? Again, I would say yes.

But does God today use weather to judge nations for perceived moral failings? I suspect not. And, for those rushing to quote Revelation to me: even if I agreed with the Hal Lindsey version of Revelation, that is an apocalyptic future that is not here yet (unless we have all missed 'The Rapture').

No, all that has happened by some using Omens to predict God's feelings about the marriage equality bill is that we Christians have all been tarred with the brush marked "silly".

And I for one find that incredibly sad. For it means that anything I would like to say as a Christian to the wider public - on marriage, on abortion, on the state of the planet, on injustice and inequality - has been silenced by religious zealots masquerading as followers of Jesus. I can only hope that, like the other partial means of knowledge listed in 1 Corinthians 13, their words too will pass away. And we can start again to find a voice for the real words of Jesus:

"God so loved the world"
"I have come that you might have abundant life"
"I am the good shepherd, who lays down his life for his flock"

Those words seem far better than pointing to weather omens. And perhaps they would have been more useful in this debate as well.

Oh wait. The rain has stopped! What could it mean...

...of rainy days

The Carpenters were a brother/ sister band in the 1970's, who had a string of hits. The brother, Richard, did most of the musical composition and arranging, while the sister, Karen, sang and - at least initially - played the drums. They wrote/ covered and sang a succession of top ten songs from 1969 to Karen's death in 1983.

One of their cover songs is "Rainy Days And Mondays", in which the singer describes how she needs a special someone on those 'feeling blue" days that we all experience. Nothing dramatic: just the need for that one good friend. It's a gentle reminder that we are not made to live alone. Connecting with other people is as essential as breathing. Not just for the days of high excitement, or deep despair; but for every day, including the 'life is quietly happening' days.

I'm reminded of that today, as the rain is gently falling outside. (Yes, we are in Perth and it is raining! The locals are stunned). We all need moments of solitude, to reflect on who we are, and how God has wired us. But, as it tells us in Genesis 1 and 2, we were created to be in community. Relationship is so intrinsic that even God chooses to reveal Himself to us in relationship. He is God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

For most of history this was so obvious as not to require saying. But our uniquely 21st Century Western mind-set has so isolated us from each other that the obvious does need stating. We need each other. On good days, on challenging days. And on rainy days and Mondays.

No, it is not good for a person to be alone. And so, as I sit here, with the rain gently falling, I am thankful for my beloved, Rhonda, whom God brought into my life. And for my family. And for the community in Christchurch that God has placed us among.

...of Lost Friends

I lost a dear friend this week. We have been close for over 30 years. It has been very had to focus on other things.

My friend - we'll call him John - and I met at University. A brilliant man, but with deep emotional scarring. Petrified that God would punish him for not loving properly. Certain that no-one could love God, and that therefore no-one could assume they had escaped the judgment of God. A man more comfortable with God's wrath than God's love. A man who for those 30 years barely inched his way toward a peace with God. During those 30 years he used his sharp mind and short temper to slash many people's egos and feelings - yet whose own emotional skin was so thin that the smallest of criticism sent him into weeks of distress and deep hurt. Many people came into his life, and many people went.

John - a gifted musician and linguist. A first class mind. Yet a man more comfortable using his hands than his other talents to make a living, as he wrestled with God. John - who believed that anyone making any act of will to serve God as by definition living a gospel of works, even though in his own life he struggled day after day after day to find a way to let God into his life (though he never saw it that way: in his mind, he grew with God only when he was the passive vessel).

And for those 30 years I had journeyed with him, always listening, rarely commenting (not that he would have noticed in the early years: at that time John talked at you, never with you). But John had made progress, and so in recent times I had felt I could critique and beg to differ, all the while remaining friends.

But I was wrong. Sadly, John is gone.

Oh, he is not dead. John is still very much alive. But this last week, after 30 years, I finally felt the lash of his tongue and the venom of his anger, when I responded to a comment he made questioning my commitment to one of my core values. For John, being right trumps relationship. For John, disagreement is a knife wound to a friendship. For John, there can ever only be one viewpoint: his viewpoint. All else is flawed, and must be rejected. So John said goodbye, finally and forever.

So today I pay my last respects to John. He has chosen 'truth' over 'love', having never realized that God is Love, and that we are called ever only to speak the truth in love. Of course truth matters; but so does relationship. How we hold these in balance is our journey with God, and with each other.

Good-bye John. I shall miss you.

Of Leadership

Leadership requires a servant-heart, vision, commitment, and sacrifice.

Leadership builds bridges, not walls - even where the wall could be justified.

Leadership looks to educate, not dominate.

Leadership looks to connect: people with the leader, and people with each other.

Leadership is not about a person's position, but her disposition.

Leadership looks to take people on a journey toward a common cause.

Leadership empowers and inspires.

Leadership focuses on solutions, not problems.

Leadership celebrates character more than giftedness.

Nothing radical or new: +Seth Godin has been putting these and similar lists out for some time. Yet how rarely do we see these qualities in those who call themselves leaders. Perhaps that's why "managers" are a dime a dozen, but "leaders" are one in a thousand.

A final thought: since leadership is so rare, why do so many organisations dismiss potential leaders because they are too young, or too old, or women, or too ethnically different?